fredag den 2. februar 2018

There you have it!

Garfield cartoonist denies Jon drinks a cup of dog semen in comic strip



Forfatter Jim Davis forklarer:

“On the farm, we used to give first-calf heifers a high protein supplement to help them deliver healthier calves. The supplement was provided by our vet... I assumed that there would be a similar supplement for dogs. So Jon is drinking a protein-enriched drink formulated for a pregnant dog.
 

There you have it!”

Øøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøhhhh..............

mandag den 29. januar 2018

*Bippen af varer der scannes ind. En stregkode virker ikke og må tastes ind manuelt*

Det var frarådt af egen læge efter konsultation med flere kolleger på klinikken, men Silvan solgte ham uden skrupler de to meter tryksikker PVC-slange, samt en butterfly-ventil og en XL tube epoxylim. Boremaskinen, samt sættet med fire bor i grotesk overstørrelse måtte han leje. Han overvejede kort om han skulle investere i en pose Dracula bolsjer ved kassen, men hans mave rumlede panisk i respons og han lod være. På vejen hjem rakte han, med en sammenbidt grimasse, hånden ned i papirsposen ved sin side, og hentede den næstsidste Filet o' Fish burger fra McDonald's frem. Den næstsidste af 13, hvilket i købsøjeblikket havde besiddet en morbid, poetisk skønhed, men nu i bilen, der stank af flad friture, virkede unødvendigt. Posen var tom da han trak ind til siden foran Elmevej nr. 6 og han sank en mundfuld savl, der så rigeligt kommunikerede hans krops trang til at evakuere de af hans organer, der var forbundet til umiddelbare udgange.

Bag hoveddøren vraltede han, skælvende ud på badeværelset og lukkede døren. Han afmålte borene fra sættet med PVC-slangens munding og valgte det tredjestørste. Det engagerede sig i boremaskinen med et metallisk klik. Monteringen af PVC-slangen i butterfly-ventilen udfordrede hans fedtede fingre, men han fik det til at side fast, med en krave af epoxylim. Monteringen i den anale åbning var nemmere og mindre smertefuld end han havde turdet håbe, omend limen sved i kontakt med det sårbare kød der omkransede hans ringmuskel. Han var nødt til at sidde i en akavet stilling mens det tørrede og man skulle tro at det ville give anledning til en overvejelse; en granskelse af hans motiver for at foretage dette eksperiment, men nej.

Han sørgede for ikke at bore med slag, da han åbnede sit kranium. Fra netdoktor vidste han at chancen for at forblive ved bevidsthed var bedst, hvis han borede direkte ind i panden, vandret. Da en væske der mindede meget om blod, men sikkert også var alt muligt andet, begyndte at løbe i en lind strøm ned igennem hans øjne, fjernede han boremaskinen. En sitrende elektricitet dansede på tværs af nerveenderne i hans hænder og fingre, men han rystede ikke, som han monterede den anden ende af PVC-slangen på hullet.

Butterfly-ventilen holdt troligt hans kropslige fortolkning af de 13 Filet o' Fish burgere tilbage, mens han talte sekunderne, til limen i hans pande var tør. Han trak og ruskede med mådehold, indtil han stolede på at han ikke ville ende med lort i hele ansigtet, så tog han en dyb indånding og drejede ventilen hele vejen åben.

*Sagte guitarmusik spiller som vi zoomer ud, væk fra hoveddøren, på det lille Rækkehus på Elmevej nr. 6*

Denne lille historie har været forfatterens forsøg på at indfange følelsen af at læse Michael Wulffs kommentar, til denne vittighedstegning, som Michael har lavet med sin ven Anders. Følelsen er med vilje placeret "udenfor" historien, da det er udenfor vores historier at de selvsagt påvirker os mest. Forfatteren har med denne fortælling forsøgt at kropsliggøre den selvtrepanerende handling det er, at sætte sig for at læse en Wulffmorgenthaler stribe. Den aktive handling at sætte sin bevidsthed i kontakt med den allermest giftige og ætsende form for kulturel diarré.

Forfatteren har takket nej til Pulitzer prisen 2018 for denne litterære præstation. På Twitter udtaler han at det "ikke handler om at blive hædret", men at det i højere grad drejer sig om at "smadre Wulffmorgenthaler de fucking amatører fuck dem og fUck Politiken jeg kan tegne ti tegneserier med røven der er bedre end det lort!"

Det var alt fra os her på Radio 24/7 denne tirsdag formiddag. Sørg for at blive på kanalen da du om lidt vil blive inviteret indenfor hos Naser Kh *KRRZZZHT*

*Sagte guitarmusik spiller, som vi zoomer ud, væk fra en Honda Accord der kører langs Vesterhavet i sydgående retning. Den kvindelige chauffør tager et par solbriller på og smiler. På passagersædet sidder Michael Wulff. Det er uklart om han lever.*

torsdag den 25. januar 2018

Tseknik aisstance vedr. Youtube

Jeg har et teknologisk problem som jeg har brug for hjælp til.


Youtube har den der cyborg kvantehjerne der hele tiden forsøger at regne ud hvad man gerne vil se NÆSTE gang. Det som jeg gerne vil se og høre nu og altid er fed Bluegrass og helst hvis det er covers af fed rock. Så det har Youtube sådan HALVT forstået, så selv når jeg har bedt om Pyrus i seks timer mens vi har pyntet op til jul, så ved den godt at den skal rehabilitere mig med noget fed Bluegrass på et tidspunkt.


Men her er problemet! Der er sådan et rigtig fedt Bluegrass band fra Finland som ok de er sådan LIDT hipster i det, men de spiller helt sikkert Bluegrass på den FEDE måde. Så dem hører jeg meget. Så er der sådan et andet band som jeg godt tør nævne ved navn, de hedder The Dead South, og de spiller bare Bluegrass på den mest prætentiøse, hipster-kvalmtakulære, decideret IKKE FEDE måde. Og Youtube forstår ikke at siden jeg ALDRIG hører mere end ti sekunder af nogen af DERES sange (pånær de første måske fire gange, hvor jeg var lidt i tvivl thi jeg er kun et menneske) så betyder det nok at jeg hader dem med en intensitet der kunne smelte diamanter.



Kære brevkasse, hvordan afhjælper jeg dette? Kan man blackliste ord eller tags fra youtube så man aldrig kommer til at se eller høre noget med f.eks. Hella Joof eller ufed Bluegrass?

Det var mit spørgsmål.

lørdag den 30. december 2017

ÅRET TRACKS 2017


... og tak for al de gode stemmer ;)


19. Kellermensch - Bad Sign
(57 point)

18. (Sandy) Alex G – Bobby
(59 point)

17. Alvvays - In Undertow
(60 point)

16. Frank Ocean - Biking
(60 point, 1 førsteplads)

15. Four Tet - Planet
(61 point, 1 førsteplads)

14. Alex Cameron - Marlon Brandon
(67 point)

13. Alex Cameron - Candy May
(70 point)

12. The National - Day I Die
(71 point)

11. Big Thief - Mythological Beauty
(72 point, 1 førsteplads)

10. Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
(73 point)

9. Mount Eerie – Real Death
(79 point, 1 førsteplads)

8. Monolord - Dear Lucifer
(83 point, 1 førsteplads)

7. Ariel Pink - Another Weekend
(84 point)

6. Lorde - Liability
(90 point)

5. The National - The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness
(95 point)

5. Kendrick Lamar - DNA
(95 point)

4. Emilio Hestepis - Noget om ulve
(99 point)

(108 point)

2. Future - Mask Off
(115 point)

1. Lorde - Green Light
(186 point, 1 førsteplads)



ÅRET ALBUMS 2017



9. Kendrick Lamar - Damn
(31 point)


Lamar's pensive self-doubt and modest buying habits are reassuring if you wish him well as a person, as why shouldn't you, and the simple keys-percussion-chorus beats flatter his cushiony timbre. Musically, Damn. is as calm as To Pimp a Butterfly is ebullient; lyrically, its only misstep is a pseudo-scriptural "don't call me black no more" that inspired Tate to quote Franz Fanon. Remaining skeptics should proceed directly to what vinyl fetishists know as side two, with its hit single, its "Lust"-to-"Love," its remembrance of ass-whuppings past, and its autobiographical miracle. He got what he wanted without squandering what he had.

8. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex
(31 point, 1 førsteplads)


Much like relationships themselves, these songs are full of contradictions. The objects of Gonzalez’s desire are both achingly close and tantalizingly far, in his phone and in his bed, on his couch and in his head. Through wallowing in its own mire and coming out the other side, Cigarettes After Sex becomes one of those restrained, low-boil albums where tempo, repetition, and muted composition construct an entire story within the pauses between the notes and the ideas between the lines.

8. Mac DeMarco - This Old Dog
(31 point, 1 førsteplads)


The move to a more “classic” sound suits DeMarco’s music, and it’s also a reminder that what at first glance seems like laziness might actually be brutal efficiency. On a casual listen, DeMarco seems to kick back and let everything fall into place, but his music demonstrates a relentless devotion to craft, with all the fundamentals intact. Each melodic shift, every turnaround on the chords during the choruses, every bridge—all are exactly where they should be. Even though they are not derivative, you swear you’ve heard them before because they show such a proficiency for songwriting structure.

7. The National - Sleep Well Beast
(40 point)


While Sleep Well Beast offers more than its fair share of hushed moments -- the National design their music to be lean-in listening, requiring an investment from their audience not only so that the lyrics can be deciphered, but so the subdued shifts in emphasis seem dynamic -- this familiar signature seems enhanced by the fact that these soft, slow songs are surrounded by cuts where the darkness opens up slightly but significantly. It's enough to make Sleep Well Beast feel like a dramatic departure in the close quarters of the National's discography.

7. Kellermensch - Goliath
(40 point)


Kellermensch machen weiter ihr Ding. Das mag beinhalten, dass man als Fan acht Jahre kein neues Studioalbum zu Gehör bekommt. Vor allem bedeutet es aber, sich als Band einen wirklich frischen musikalischen Ansatz zu bewahren und dabei noch gute und bisweilen sogar tanzbare Songs zu schreiben. Keine Einwände. Wenn das dänische “Mediocre Men” sind, dann sei auf der Hut, musikalisches Europa!

6. Monolord - Rust
(40 point, to førstepladser)


I suspected this was coming from Monolord, after their first two albums hinted at greatness. They have gone and produced what could be the Platonic Form of doom. If you are familiar with classical philosophy (and doom), this will be all the knowledge you require to realise you need – yes, need – to purchase this album from the coffee-swilling trio from Sweden.

5. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me
(41 point, 1 førsteplads)


It would be easy to hear this album as sad. Certainly the facts of Elverum's story are. But facts aren’t art and art isn’t real, at least not the way cancer is. For an album so firmly anchored by death, Crow is suffused with life: The geese, the forest fires, the crows, the grocery-store lines where Elverum stumbles through awkward conversation with people from town. Tragedy hasn't stopped him from noticing the world; if anything, it seems to have pried his eyes open for good.

4. The War On Drugs - A Deeper Understanding
(43 point)


So yes, Springsteen, Dylan, Tom Petty, and Neil Young all made songs between 1983 and 1988 that sounded something like the War on Drugs, but they often had these booming gated drums, a technique Granduciel mostly avoids. Instead, he favors a steady, muted pulse evocative of krautrock’s motorik groove. The arrangement of “In Chains” hums and explodes but the drums plow ahead with barely a fill or an accent, precisely marking the passing time. The approach to rhythm highlights the glide of the arrangement, creating a long rope of sound bound together so tightly it could never be pulled apart.

3. Destroyer - ken
(43 point, 1 førsteplads)


There’s a braveness in ken’s songwriting – in stripping his style down to its barest bones, Bejar almost invites ridicule. Certainly those who have not yet acquired the taste for his songwriting might find it hard to swallow ‘Sky’s Grey’, which repeats the line “I’ve been working on the new Oliver Twist” seven times in quick succession with only minor variations in cadence.

2. Big Thief - Capacity
(47 point, 1 førsteplads)


There are bands with stories to share, wounds to rub salt into, loves to relive, but few address every moment with such adroit care as Big Thief. You can hear it as they revel in the darkest moments, rejoice in the later lightness, and fumble around for a sense of closure. Capacity is human, which seems to be all Big Thief desire.

1. Lorde - Melodrama
(62 point, 1 førsteplads)


What Melodrama confirms most of all is Lorde’s uncanny ability to drill down so precisely on grand emotional themes that would fell lesser songwriters. Tackling a bad breakup certainly isn’t new in pop music, but it’s delivered here with an honesty and energy that is uniquely her own. She doesn’t generalize or hide from her feelings, and in doing so, she brings her listeners the comforting reminder that our messiest years yield some of the moments when we’re most alive (and for the olds, that they’re happily behind us). The greatest reward of Lorde’s music is recognizing her growth reflected in ourselves.


mandag den 11. december 2017

ÆBLEBOYS ÅRET MUSIK 2017 AFSTEMNING


Hey, pssst!

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ved du hvad det tid til?

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neeej, det er tid til

¡¡¡ÅRET AFSTEMNING!!!
¡¡¡ÅRET AFSTEMNING!!!
¡¡¡ÅRET AFSTEMNING!!!
¡¡¡ÅRET AFSTEMNING!!!
¡¡¡ÅRET AFSTEMNING!!!


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Send en mail med maximum 20 yndlingstracks og 10 yndlingsalbums fra listerne forneden til kern.cooper@gmail.com - enten prioriteret (hvor #1 får flere point end #20) eller uden rækkefølge. Du må godt bare stemme på 1 sang hvis det er det du vil. DEADLINE ER 26. DECEMBER og ALLE MÅ STEMME :)


NOMINEREDE ALBUMS:
(link til Spotify-liste)

(Sandy) Alex G – Rocket
Aldous Harding - Party
Alex Cameron - Forced Witness
Alex Lahey - I Love You Like A Brother
Allah Las - Covers #1
Arca - s/t
Beck - Colors
Big Thief - Capacity
Björk - Utopia
Chastity Belt - I Used To Spend So Much Time Alone
Chris Stapleton – From A Room: Volume 1
Chuck Johnson - Balsams
Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex
Colin Stetson - All This I Do For Glory
Communions - Blue
Conor Oberst - Salutations
Delia Gonzalez - Horse Follows Darkness
Destroyer - ken
Diet Cig - Swear I'm Good at This
Dirty Projectors - S/T
Drake - More Life
Elder - Reflections of a Floating World
EMA - Exile in the outer ring
Ex Eye - Ex Eye
Father John Misty - Pure Comedy
Feist - Pleasure
Fever Ray - Plunge
Follow the Sun - s/t
Foo Fighters - Concrete and Gold
Four Tet - New Energy
Franske Piger - EP
Fright Eye - 4
Girlpool - Powerplant
Godspeed You! Black Emperor- Luciferian Towers
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Nashville Sound
Jay Som – Everybody Works
Jens Lekman - Life Will See You Now
Joan Shelley - Joan Shelley
Jonah Blacksmith - s/t
Julie Byrne - Not Even Happiness
Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights
Kellermensch - Goliath
Kelly Lee Owens – s/t
Kendrick Lamar - Damn
Kevin Morby - City Music
Khalid - American Teen
Kurt Vile & Courtney Barnett - Lotta Sea Lice
LCD Soundsystem - American Dream
Lorde - Melodrama
Lowly - Heba
Mac Demarco - This Old Dog
Magnetic Fields - 50 Song Memoir
Margo Price – All American Made
Mark Kozelek, Ben Boye and Jim White - mark kozelek with ben boye and jim white
Mew - Visuals
Monolord - Rust
Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me
Mountain Goats - Goths
Oxbow - Thin Black Dude
Papir - V
Paramore – After Laughter
Perfume Genius - No Shape
Priests – Nothing Feels Natural
Princess Nokia - 1992 Deluxe
Radar Men from the Moon - Subversive III: De Spelende Mens
Ryan Adams - Prisoner
Sampha – Process
Shadowband - Wilderness of Love
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings – Soul of a Woman
Skegss - Holiday Food
Skepta - Vicious
Slowdive - Slowdive
Sorority Noise - You're Not As ____ As You Think You Are
Spoon - Hot Thoughts
St. Vincent – Masseduction
Starcrash - Tarantula Wallpaper, Dracula Screensaver
Steve Earle – So You Wannabe An Outlaw
SZA - CTRL
Taylor Swift - Reputation
Tennis - Yours Conditionally
The Clientele - Music for the Age of Miracles
The National - Sleep Well Beast
The War On Drugs - A Deeper Understanding
The Weather Station - The Weather Station
Thundercat - Drunk
Tinariwen - Elwan
Turbolens - Tro, Håb og Kærlighed
Tyler, The Creator - Flower Boy
Uffe Lorenzen - Galmandsværk
Ulver - The Assaination of Julius Caesar
Vince Staples – Big Fish Theory
Why? - Moh Lhean
Will Stratton - Rosewood Almanac
Young Thug - Beautiful Thugger Girls
Zola Jesus - Okovi


NOMINEREDE TRACKS:

(Sandy) Alex G – Bobby
21 Savage - My Choppa Hate Niggas
Alex Cameron - Candy May
Alex Cameron - Marlon Brandon
Alex Cameron - The Chihuahua
Alex Cameron - True Lies
Alex Cameron & Angel Olsen - Strangers Kiss
Alvvays - In Undertow
Ariel Pink - Another Weekend
Baest - Crosswhore
Beck - Dear Life
Big Thief - Mythological Beauty
Big Thief - Shark Smile
Björk - Arisen My Senses
Björk - The Gate
Calvin Harris - Heatstroke (feat. Young Thug, Pharell Williams, Ariana Grande)
Calvin Harris - Slide (feat. Frank Ocean & Migos)
Cantina Band Theme w/ Maple 😋🐶
Cardi B – Bodak Yellow
Carly Rae Jepsen - Cut To The Feeling
Charlotte Gainsbourg – Deadly Valentine
Chastity Belt - 5am
Chastity Belt - Different Now
Chris Stapleton – Second One to Know
Cigarettes After Sex - Flash
Converge - Eve
Courney Barnett - Peepin’ Tom
Courney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Continental Breakfast
Courney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Over Everything
cupcakKe - Biggie Smalls
Dirty Projectors - Keep Your Name
Drake - Glow (feat. Kanye West)
Drake - Passionfruit
Drake - Sacrifices (feat. 2 Chainz and Young Thug)
Dunkirk - Supermarine
EMA - Aryan Nation
Emilio Hestepis - Disruptionrådet du skal ik være bange
Emilio Hestepis - Noget om ulve
Emilio Hestepis - OK Grineren (Radiohead #1)
Father John Misty - Ballad of the Dying Man
Father John Misty - Pure Comedy
Four Tet - Planet
Frank Ocean - Biking
French Montana - Unforgettable (feat. Swae Lee)
Future - Mask Off
Future Islands – North Star
Girlpool – 123
Harry Styles – Sign of the Times
HestePassion - Prøv at score mig (La’ vær)
Hundred Waters – Blanket Me
Hurray for the Riff Raff - Living In The City
Infinite Bisous – Lost In Translation /1
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - If We Were Vampires
Jay Som – The Bus Song
Joan Shelley - Where I'll Find You
Joseph Shabason - Long Swim
Julie Byrne - Natural Blue
Julien Baker - Appointments
Julien Baker - Hurt Less
Julien Baker - Funeral Pyre
Kellermensch - Bad Sign
Kendrick Lamar - DNA
Kendrick Lamar - Humble
Kevin Morby – City Music
Khalid - 8TEEN
Khalid - Young Dumb and Broke
Kuli Chene - Tlekeke (feat. Dj Bucks, Shareen)
LCD Soundsystem - How Do You Sleep
Lil Yachty, Young Thug - On Me
Logic - 1-800-273-8255
Lorde - Green Light
Lorde - Liability
Lorde - Perfect Places
Margo Price – Pay Gap
Migos (feat. Lil Uzi Vert) - Bad and Boujee
Monolord - Dear Lucifer
Mount Eerie – Real Death
NF - Let You Down
Oxbow - Cold and Well-Lit Place
Papir - V.II
Paramore – Hard Times
Perfume Genius - Slip Away
Plies - Real Hitta (feat. Kodak Black)
Porches - Country
Princess Nokia - Tweety Bird Freestyle
Radar Men from the Moon - Drunk With God
Rico Nasty - Block List
Robote - Ik En Robote
Run The Jewels - Legend Has It
Sampha – No One Knows Me (Like the Piano)
Selena Gomez - Bad Liar
Shadowband - Darksiders Blues
Shadowband - Illuminate
Sigrid - Don't Kill My Vibe
Skegss - Got on My Skateboard
Skepta - Worst
Sleep - The Clarity
Slowdive - Star Roving
Sorority Noise - No Halo
Sweet Pete & The Land Band - Perfect Place
SZA - Supermodel
SZA – Drew Barrymore
Taylor Swift - New Year’s Day
Taylor Swift – Call It What You Want
Tennis - My Emotions are Blinding
The Clientele - Everyone You Meet
The National - Day I Die
The National - I'll Still Destroy You
The National - The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness
The Smith Street Band - Forrest
The War On Drugs - Strangest Things
The War On Drugs - Thinking of a place
Thundercat – Walk on By feat. Kendrick Lamar
Turbolens - Rastløse Bevægelser
Tyler, the Creator – Who Dat Boy
Uffe Lorenzen - Flippertøs
Vince Staples – Big Fish
Why? - George Washington
Will Stratton - Manzanita
Wolf Alice - Don't Delete the Kisses

Listen op fra slap m årets numeringer!



OBS! NOT ON THE SPOTIFY TRACKS:
Cantina Band Theme w/ Maple 😋🐶
Emilio Hestepis - Disruptionrådet du skal ik være bange
Emilio Hestepis - Noget om ulve
Emilio Hestepis - OK Grineren (Radiohead #1)
HestePassion - Prøv at score mig (La’ vær)
Princess Nokia - Tweety Bird Freestyle
Robote - Ik En Robote
Sweet Pete & The Land Band - Perfect Place

torsdag den 23. november 2017

ÆBLEBOYS ÅRET MUSIK 2017 NOMINATIONS

Her i livet kommer der af og til en sang i radioen hvor man bare må sige:

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Måske har du haft det sådan i år med en sang eller med en plade? At du bare måtte sige:


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Jamen så er det da godt at det er tid til at nominere numre og albums til året afstemning! Ja kort sagt det er tid til at sige:

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Her er en oversigt over hvordan det kommer til at gå ned:

1) 23. november til 10. december:
Vi nominerer alle vores yndlingsalbums og sange fra 2017 ved at skrive navnene på dem i kommentarfeltet

2) 11. december til 26. december:
Vi stemmer på vores yndlingsalbums og sange som er blevet nomineret og som vi har hørt via disse Spotify-lister:
TRACKS
ALBUMS

3) Lige før nytår:
Resultaterne rullah!

Ja, tilbage er vist kun at sige:

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